10 things NOT to do in Provence

Just for fun , and  inspired  by the web site concierge .com famous do's and dont's, we compiled a list of ten dont’s – and what to do instead, in a region that the shrinked euro makes affordable again.

1-Wear hiking shoes in the streets.

 Look  : you are visiting towns and villages that have streets since Roman times.  By now their pavement is perfectly smooth and your heavy walking shoes will feel out of place. Instead, bring your best office shoes with you : In France, a person status is very much determined by what he/she wears on its feet. And nice shoes might help you resist the temptation of bermuda shorts, flowered shirts and tank-tops.

2-Splurge on a three star restaurant

Yes,they are great, but also mightily over-priced : why pay New York prices for decent french food when  you are in France ? Instead, ask around for nice places.  With a good guide and more importantly advices   from your hotels, the local shopkeepers, you can have a  great lunch or dinner at french prices. And save the money for an other trip.

3- Stand in line to visit Avignon’s bridge.

 First, you wont even reach the opposite  bank ! The far end of St Benezet bridge has been destroyed several centuries ago by the Rhone river and the mighty mistral wind. But althought a lovely sight, it is ridiculously over priced, simply because the  town wants to make most of its reputation. Instead, take the free shuttle boat across to river to green Barthelasse island  and you will enjoy a view identical from the photograph above. Do not forget to visit the Palace of the Popes even if it seems pricey, and the Pont du Gard, a huge roman aqueduct 25 Km west of the city.

4-Taxe taxis around

They’ll cost you  “ la peau des fesses”   your  bottom’s skin. Avoid also  the tourist trains slow and prone to get stuck in traffic. ( Not always so slow  : one of them recently overturned in Marseilles due to an excessive speed). Instead, enjoy public transportation on the fine network of subsidized buses, both inter cities and inner cities , or on 'velopop' the pay-per-ride bike lending system in Avignon

5-Keep a large bottle of mineral water in your bag

 Again, this is a civilized country. No need of toting your personal water reserve as  a trekker in Betchuanaland. And the climate, though sunny, doesn't make our place a subtropical country. (Provence is at the latitude of Maine or Oregon). Instead , enter a café at any time of day.  Drink at the counter.  A glass of water is free, by tradition  ; should you want a free pee-pee also, you might be definitely pushing your luck with the bartender. Order something, anything. The cheapest drink in a french bistrot is a lemonade, enjoy it with mint  or  grenadine  syrup : it  will often be cheaper than  a can of soda at a vending machine or in a convenience store !

6-Book in a Hotel Chain

They are made for visiting businessmen and often tucked in industrial outskirts miles from anything interesting. Instead,  book in a small city hotel or a flat or  guest room rented by one of the locals. You won't be bothered by the whirr of the central air conditionning, and you’ll be more likely to hear the cicadas ... Have you visited our  august 2009 post about the flats we rent ?

7-Buy yourself a vineyard

Côtes du Rhone is the word here. And also Côte du Ventoux,  Coteaux d’Aix. Lovely landscape. Small exploitations.  Some people dream to make  a life style of it. And  are ready to sell everything aat home to buy the whole gammut, a few acres of land, a house with plane-trees and cellars. Talk about a million dollars. It is a sure  way to ruin if are not willing to toil for selling the stuff. Forget quiet evenings watching the wine leaves changing colors, sitting on a stone bench under the plane tree. Over-production of cheap and intermediate wines is such that several dis-illusioned investors are putting back their dream for sale. Instead, if you are in love with wine, visit the specialized shops : I recommend  Avitus, a cave and wine bar, and of course l’Hermitage, soon to open downstairs from our building.

8- Try to park in downtown Marseilles

The streets around the Vieux Port are as congested as Chicago, and your lovely Mercedes or Peugeot  brand new and shining from the Avis stables will be at great risk of being hijacked or burglarized. If I was a good guy, I’d tell you were is the one free parking lot downtown ( tip : in the backyard of a  no frills supermarket.) But then Marseilles was not meant for good guys. Reading the news, it apparently still is the nations capital of  organized crime, keeping loose links with politics and unions. Thank God, the organization itself appear far from perfect, so the ambience is relaxed.  Marseilles is a great city for a day tour. Instead, go by train, keep your sun glasses on at all times, like the local boys do, and fancy yourself  as a deputy of Al Pacino coming to settle a few scores with the Corsicans.

9 –  Gape at  real estate agents windows.

Locals feel  that the price of real estate has been pushed up tremendously by the influx of foreigners. It is probably  depressing to see tourist gaping in clusters at wide-angled-photographs over hiked up prices in agents’s shop windows  - just like kids in front of an icecream parlour.( The Real estate  market has long been depressed in France, and moves slowly.) Plus, figure that the old Madame Escartefigue, willing after all to sell one of her lovely village house, is not keen at all of seing its intentions advertised in front of the neighbours she despizes since about 1955. Instead, should you want to invest, do it quietly, from your armchair, on a computer, and start using first the four big real estate agency networks : Orpi, Fnaim, Laforet, Guy Hoquet.

10 – Pity the bulls in Arles or  Nîmes.

In western Provence and the Languedoc, the corrida de toros is taken seriously.  A month ago, the web site for Arles Easter feria was  hijacked  and defaced by anti-corrida  hackers : they published across the homepage a sentence by Mahatma Gandhi saying that a one could evaluate  a civilisation’s greatness by the  death it  bestowed on its animals, and a few gruesome photographs. Instead of voicing your love for animals ovr a glass of pastis, consider the wisdom words of the Mahatma : the barbarian but noble death of the toro, admired and respected by thousands of people united in  a spiritual fervour at the arena, is much more civilized than at  the slaughterhouse.

Dutch and British sailors jailed in Provence

Tarascon's royal castle is a massive dungeon, built in white stone for the Good King Rene,  count of Anjou and king of Provence right on the banks of the Rhone river, just outside the city walls. Among the curiosities  of the building, in a remarkable state of conservation, are the graffitis of erstwhile prisonners, many of them with english-sounding names.The place served as a Naval prison, safely located 30 miles inland : piracy was whitesperad on the lower Rhone, and British crews have been detained in the fortress as late as 1815.

On Saturday, June 26 2010, a reconstitution of the naval conflicts of the era  will be held under the castle walls, during the traditional ' Fete de la Tarasque'complete with boats, guns fireworks, 200 locals in costumes. This will largely beat the retransmission of Fifa World cup matches, in my opinion. Even if you miss the party, this place is a must-see of every voyage in Provence, with a lovely reconstitution of medicinal and aromatic garden in one of the courtyards. Tarascon Itself, half an hour from Avignon, is  a maze of cobbled streets leading to old chapels, museums, the Soleiado  manufacture of fabrics, and good priced restaurants ( I recommend the Brasserie du Palais, were Bernard and Charles speak english, for breakfasts and lunch.).
Tarascon is an interesting site, where the Rhone river flows at its mightiest, just before entering his delta know as the Camargue.  It is a major crossroad for rail, linking Italy, Spain and northern Europe, and was heavily bombed before the allied  forces landing operations in Provence in 1944 : last year's fete de la tarasque was devoted to a reconstitution of the  Allied landing near Saint Tropez.

Visit French Listed Historic Monument N°2

When Prosper Merimee,  learned and fashionable writer of the 19th century drawed his famous list of remarkable French monuments, around 1840, item number One was Mount Saint Michel in Normandy. That extraordinary  pyramid of stone defying both the tides and the English certainly deserved the honour of being listed in the inventory that later directly inspired the French National Heritage listing.  (No surprise, because Merimee became Inspector of Historic Monuments.)
 But then, what was item number Two on the writer's list ? Not Versailles, neither Notre-Dame de Paris. No Amiens, no Vezelay or Chenonceaux. Not even the Palace of the Popes. But  a rather humble stone chapel,  Saint Gabriel, at the western foot of the Alpilles, 20 km from Avignon in the  Tarascon Municipal limits.

Saint Gabriel, built in the XII century  is one of the very few chapels in this country to be dedicated to an Angel, not a Saint ; it is also a fascinating  edifice  mixing  splendid sculpture on the main  facade over the door with absolute sobriety inside. The location is gorgeous. Something quite peculiar definitely radiates from the site. Peace. Inspiration. Sacred breeze in the pine trees. Absolutely not trinquets sellers or soda-vending stalls.
Our suggestion for a memorable day: You can easily walk from Saint Remy ( 20 mn by public transport from Avignon's gare routiere, located 5 minutes from home)  to Saint Gabriel, in about four hours, along a lovely and partly shaded footpath. Then  enjoy the place at length,  briefly regret the absence of  the soda vending stalls, and then walk to the next crossroad and  take a bus back to Avignon, Tarascon... or even Arles where you can have lunch or dinner and then bus back to Avignon. We can check the bus times for you, lend you  maps and directions.
Olivia and I are so impressed by this site, discreet but very dear to the heart of the local population, that we decided to call our first son Gabriel.

Avignon : Brand new beds in a gothic home.

There are some brand new beds in the one-bedroom flat available for rent this season. yet something in the adjacent wall  of the master bedroom may surprise you. You will notice the presence of various cabalistic symbols on the stones, called " peiro signado" in  provencal :  forget about Nostradamus and  Da Vinci code, these are the marks of the Companions, or  stone cutters. They were paid by the stone, and so identification of their work was essential. This custom predates the fourteenth century, and the installation of the popes in Avignon. When staying in our city, make sure you  live not only in the inner city walls, but in the ancient  gothic-era center, wonderfully restored. and where you will find all the museums  and action.. (this central area is in  located in a small crcle of streets , on the south the rue des lices, the west rue vernet, the east  rue sain,  and on the north the  Rhone river and the palace of the Popes itself..